• Have a slide deck that is too long for your allotted time
• Use bad fonts with drop shadows
• Use funny voices and occasionally sing
• Frantically wave your hands around
• Be sure to never credit your sources
• Talk a lot about your credentials
• Use only really obscure examples of whatever you’re talking about
• Avoid eye contact with the audience
• Bring up lots of anecdotes about times when you were smarter than other people
• Be sure to not leave any time for questions at the end
• Apologize for your presentation

(Recently compiled by me, Mark, Kevin, and Coley at an In-N-Out Burger in Daly City.)